Behind blue eyes
by born a dreamer
Summary: Something's wrong with TK. Everyone is worried about him, and no one knows what to do. But why do they blame Taichi? He didn't do anything... did he? READ! CHAPTER 6 UP
1. The talk

**Hiya! Yepp, new fic XD -hurray! This one is a bit different from the others though. For example; it's not written in either Tai or Matt's pov and you have no idea what's going through their heads. So it's almost from the 'grown-ups' point of view (such as parents or teachers) ...although _technically_ it's not written in their pov, but... DAMMIT this was all so clear in my head but now it's just sounds confusing! Ahem... well anyhow I hope you get what I'm trying to say here once you've read the chapter... **

**disclaimer: yadda yadda yadda... you know I don't own anything... trust me, if I _did _own Digimon, I'd let you know**

**chapter one**

Questions

"Ah, Yagami Taichi! Nice to see you came after all"

"Um, yea… what exactly is this about, miss?"

"Have a seat."

Tai sat down on the yellow armchair, glancing at the teacher suspiciously.

"You know TK, don't you Taichi?"

"Sure do. He's my best friend's little bro. Why?"

"Well, his teacher has been a little concerned about him," the teacher started off. "We believe it has something to do with you."

"Oh? What about it?"

"TK has been really quiet for these last couple of days. And that's rather unusual for him. He's a very polite boy, Taichi, but since Monday, he hasn't even answered his own teacher."

"Sounds kind of strange…"

"Like I said, his teacher is very worried."

"Um, miss? What has this got to do with me?" the teen asked, aching an eyebrow.

"Well Taichi…."

"You can call me Tai, if you want. Hearing my whole name makes me feel like I'm in trouble or something." He said, grinning a little. His teacher chuckled.

"Alright, Tai." She paused, her face getting serious again. "We suspect that TK's sudden lack of words is partly due to the fact that he has witnessed something."

"…how do you know that?"

"That's often the reason for a child to stop talking. And besides…" The teacher once again stopped, eyeing the teen before her carefully. "…TK has been drawing pictures."

Tai tilted his head to the side slightly, blinking curiously. "…pictures?"

"Yes. He started that just yesterday, when his teacher gave him some sheets of paper to entertain himself, since he refused to join the others."

Tai glanced at his watch. "Uh-huh. So…"

"The pictures, several of them, involve humans. Boys, to be more specific. Line-drawn pictures. Off course that's not very odd for a eight-year-old boy to draw, still…" She became silent, wondering how she was supposed to continue. After a while of silence the teenage-boy looked up from his slightly more interesting watching-subject.

"Miss?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I was just searching for the right words."

Tai sighed, sinking deeper into the armchair. By now, restlessness had taken over his manners. He could've been out on the schoolyard right now, play football, hang out with Matt, annoy Sora, or... LOTS of other things than sitting in this room, listening to that woman whom was now smiling at him in a way that made him want to roll his eyes. Still he managed to smile a little in return and she gave him an apologising look.

"I understand this is… well, boring for you, but please understand that this is important. And since you're likely involved in this trauma, you have the right to know."

"So when do _I_ enter the picture, miss?"

"Well, literally yesterday, shortly after he started drawing. His drawn men suddenly got brown hair. Really _big _brown hair. So we figured it was you. Plus they wore goggles."

Tai laughed, shaking his head. "That does sound like me."

"That's not all, though. Mrs Suzuki showed me a very… interesting drawing TK made. It was a picture of you, probably, and his big brother."

"Matt?"

"Yes."

"We're best friends. I don't see why that should be odd."

"The fact you two are in TK's drawing is not what's concerning us, Taichi."

"Tai."

"Right. Anyhow, it's the fact you two… well, you're sort of drawn as a couple. In some pictures you are in a big shape of a heart, in others you're holding hands, in some you're even kissing…"

The boy sat motionless in the yellow armchair, staring at her. The room was silent for a moment and they were both studying each other for any sign of reaction and for any sign on joking.

"In many cases pictures are a way for children to express themselves, and perhaps reveal something." The teacher added hesitatingly.

"Hold up! Are you saying that you think it's _true?_" Taichi blurted out, tightening his fists automatically like he always did when he got insulted or pissed off.

"No, no, of course not Taichi…"

"_Tai. _And no, I'm not dating Matt. Why TK draws stuff like that I have no idea, but that's _not _what's going on!"

The teacher leaned back in her chair, nodding. "I see. Well, I'm really sorry if I offended you, it wasn't my intention. Still, can you recall him seeing something that he might've… misunderstood?"

Tai shook his head. The teacher sighed. "Well, I guess that's out of story then. I'm really sorry for wasting your time; still I appreciate you clearing that up. Now we don't have to wonder over that anymore." She smiled and the boy rose to his feet, leaving the room quickly.

**tbc**

**Since this is new and all, I'd really appreciated if you reviewed! I need to know if you like this (which I sincerely hope u do)**

**And remember; I _can _take criticism! All though I might start crying after a while... nah, just kidding**


	2. Insult

**I know these chapters are really really short, but I figured that since I'm updating several chapters all at once, it dosn't really matter... right?**

**disclaimer: ...what was it again? oh right; I DON'T OWN DIGIMON!**

**Chapter two**

Insult

"Ishida Yamato, have a seat!"

The blond boy stood motionless in the doorway, eyeing the teacher.

"It's alright Yamato, come in. I'm just gonna ask you a few questions. Is that okay?"

The boy in the doorway shrugged and entered the room slowly. "I guess."

"Have a seat," the teacher repeated, gesturing towards the armchair standing in front of her desk. The teen sat down, still watching her carefully. "If this is about what I said to Mr-"

"No, no, this has nothing to do with that." She smiled warmly and got a few confused blinks in return. Suddenly the teen sighed in relief, sinking back a little in the chair. "So what's all this about?"

"Well, like I said I am going to ask you a few questions. I talked to Taichi about this too earlier… and according to him our theories were completely wrong. Still I'd like to ask you as well before we move on with this."

The boy shifted a little in the chair, his gaze becoming unsteady. "Did you… say something to him? Something he might've been upset about or something? He's been a little… weird."

"I might have asked him a few questions that he took personally, but it was certainly not my intention to upset your friend. The questions were important because they might have something to do with TK's…"

"TK?" Matt frowned, looking straight at her. "What's _he _got to do with this?"

"Well you see, I've talked to his teacher and she's very concerned about him. I assume you've noticed that he's been very quiet for these last couple of days?"

"The kid won't talk." Matt shrugged. "Course it's weird, but we think it's just a phase he's going through right now."

"I can understand that. Though has he ever showed any signs on hiding something?"

Matt shook his head thoughtfully. "I dunno. I mean sometimes you wonder what's going through that boy's head, and I guess there's a lot that we don't know about. He thinks a lot, you know?"

The teacher nodded in agreement. "He's a very smart boy from what I've heard."

Matt smiled faintly in response. "Yeah."

"Well, the thing I was going to tell you was that we've found some pictures he's been drawing since yesterday. They're quite interesting."

She waited for him to respond, but he just sat there quietly. "Um, you see… there's you and your friend in the picture. Don't get me wrong; his teacher has seen him drawing pictures of you before, but in these pictures you and Taichi are obviously a couple."

The blonde's eyebrows shot up and he stared at her. "What?"

"TK either draws you two holding hands, or standing in a big shape of a heart, or even kissing…"

"_What!_"

"I understand this might be shocking for you, and I'm not saying this has anything to do with reality, but don't you think that this behaviour might be due to something he's seen, or heard that he might've misunderstood?" the teacher explained quickly.

"Listen, I'm not a _queer, _if that's what you're asking! And I don't encourage him to draw like that!"

"Of course not, that's not what I'm saying…"

"No, you're just saying that I'm a fag and that I'm dating my best friend! I didn't think you teachers were so damn prejudiced!"

The blond teen stormed out of the room, leaving a very tired-looking teacher behind.

* * *

**Teachers are so full of it... don't you think? At least some are... **

**well, reviews are welcome! thanks for reading, hope you liked it**


	3. Silence

**This chapter is at least a _little _less meaningless than the others. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Matt's mom. Why would I? Oh, and I don't own digimon. **

**Chapter three**

Silence

"Hi Honey!" Mrs Ishida greeted her youngest son as he entered the kitchen. She turned around, got down to his level and threw her arms out. The normally happy child smiled weakly and slowly walked into her arms like a robot, letting his mother embrace him tightly.

"How was your day? Did you learn anything?" Mrs Ishida continued, letting go of the boy to take a look at him. TK nodded silently. "Good. Are you hungry? Go sit by the table and I'll make you some toast, okay?"

Her son turned around and headed towards the kitchen-table. Mrs Ishida stood up again and turned towards the counter, letting a quiet sigh escape her lips. This was the third day since TK had stopped talking. It seemed like no matter what Mrs Ishida and her husband did, the boy didn't want to say a single word.

She looked over her shoulder just in time to see Matt entering the kitchen. "Hi Honey," she greeted, just a little less enthusiastically than she had done towards the younger boy. At least this one _talked. _Not much, but still –he talked.

"Hi mom." The teenaged boy turned his attention towards his brother. "Hey TK! What's up?"

Normally, said boy would smile brightly towards his idol and happily tell him every single detail of his day. And normally this would pretty soon bore the older boy to death, and he would tune him out.

But this day (Wednesday the 27th of October at 16.13, to be exact) Takeru Ishida didn't even bother to look up, he just continued studying the kitchen-table and silently scratch on the edge with the nail on his thumb, as he waited for his mother to serve him his toast. And this very day, Yamato Ishida would've given _anything _to hear that boy rabble aboutevery little stupid and pointless thing that TK had seen or heard or thought or said during the day.

_Anything._

Mrs Ishida watched her two sons silently, feeling like she was about to break any moment. She couldn't do that, though. Things _would_ get better. Everything was going to be fine. They just had to wait and keep telling themselves that Takeru would start talking again. He _had _to…Still, seeing her oldest son's expression as he looked down at his little brother, eyes begging for an response, an answer, a word, _anything, _almost drove the woman insane with sorrow. There'd always been that special bond between the two blond boys, a bond that brothers –if they were lucky- naturally had between one and other. But ever since TK's words had stopped coming from his mouth, he had treated his brother with such coldness it almost scared her. And what's worse; it had broken Matt completely to be treated so hatefully by someone he cared about more than anything.

But of course, he didn't show it. Mrs Ishida couldn't recall her oldest son crying since he was at least under seven. And it was very rare for the young teenager to show any kind of emotion. Plus the boy never talked about things like that. This was a problem that had led to many tragic things in the past. Like that time when Mr and Mrs Ishida had received a call from one of Matt's former teachers, and found out that Matt had been bullied since third grade. And they had never even noticed.

By now though, Matt had actually found a way to get things out. He wrote. To no one in particular. Maybe hundreds of sheets filled with words were hidden in Matt's bedroom. Poems, letters, song lyrics, stories, or just a bunch of words (often bad ones) written down on a sheet of paper. Mrs Ishida knew, because she had seen them under Matt's bed whenever she was cleaning his room. She never read them though; she had too much respect for that kid. Mrs Ishida was just happy that her son had finally found a way open up. Yes, open up to a stupid piece of _paper, _but still that's a start.

"Um… I'm gonna head over to Tai's, we're gonna do some homework. That okay?"

"Yeah sure, Matty. Just be home for dinner, alright?"

"Alright. Oh, and mom? Don't call me Matty! That's… ugh, just _don't_."

His mother chuckled, amused by her son's sensitivity around that pet name. "Yeah, yeah. Sure you don't want anything before you leave?"

"I'm alright, bye!"

"Bye Matt. And say hello to Tai from me."

"Yeah sure." The teen left the room, and then closed the front door behind him a few seconds later. His mother served her quiet son his toast and ruffed his hair. "There you go, TK." she said, not even bothering to wait for a thank you, (why would she?) and returned to the counter to start washing up.

The boy sat silently at the table, eating his toast. He was still scratching the edge of the table, staring at his food. His cold look went unnoticed by his mother, just like no one had noticed him wincing every time he had heard the brunette's name being said, just seconds before.

**Hmmm... **

**And here's where it's (_supposed_ to) get interesting...**

**I should probably mention that I'm aware of that Matt and TK aren't living together in season 01 and that their parents are divorced... but I changed that in this story cuss it would've made things too complicaded. So here they're actually a _family _and everyone's happy! Well, except for TK, he's got issues...**

**please review**


	4. Phone call

**disclaimer:...I Do Not Own Digimon**

**Chapter four**

Phone call

"Mom! Matt's coming over"

"I'm in here, Tai-chan" Mrs Yagami hollered, trying to make herself heard above the vacuum cleaner.

"…what? No, _Matt's coming over!" _

"Can't hear you, Honey"

"_Gah!" _The teen stormed into the room, finding his mom practically underneath the couch. "What are you doing?"

"I'm _cleaning! _What does it look like?" came the muffled answer from under the couch.

"Do you really wanna know?" Tai muttered, more to himself than to his mother. He shook his head. "Mom?"

"Yeah Tai?"

"Matt. Is. Coming. Over!"

"Oh! Okay, _that _I heard"

"Not a moment too soon…"

"By the way, do you have _any idea_ what I've found under this stupid couch?"

"Uh, no?"

Mrs Yagami got up to her feet with a sigh, throwing an empty candy-bag into the overfilled wastebasket beside her. "Other than dust, old food scraps and sweet-paper, I've found a _fork, _a pen, a five-dollar-bill," Mrs Yagami started to list her fingers. "…a pair of glasses –although those were dad's reading-glasses, nail polish…"

"Oh, my bad" Taichi said quickly, unable to keep from grinning.

Mrs Yagami rolled her eyes at her weird son. "Yeah sure –_goggles…" _

"I've been looking for those!"

"…a magazine, and I'm pretty sure it's not Kari's…"

"…"

"…and finally, I found a note from your teacher that was supposed to be given to us _five weeks ago._" She finished, putting her hands on her sides.

"…oh." Tai grinned sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. "Oops?"

His mother gave him an annoyed look. "That's it? 'Oops'?"

Tai opened his mouth to defend himself, but before he could speak, the doorbell rang. His expression changed from deer-in-headlights to extremely relieved. "Matt's here!"

He ran off to open the door, and Mrs Yagami shook her head, sighing. Then a thought hit her and she remembered something she'd forgot to do. She looked after Tai who had just opened the door, greeting his friend more happily than usual. Mrs Yagami snickered. "He always gets away."

Her son's best friend looked at him strangely, asking something that Mrs Yagami assumed had to do with Tai's overly happy mood. He shouldn't be that surprised, though; they'd been friends long enough for Yamato to learn that Tai simply was a very happy person. That was why they were so right for each other –one balanced the other.

Mrs Yagami frowned a little, thinking of the phone call she'd received about an hour earlier. Mrs Itou, Tai's form mistress, had told her about Yamato's little brother's strange behaviour the last couple of days. Mrs Yagami had said that Mrs Ishida had told her about that, and then asked why Mrs Itou was telling her this.

_Flashback_

"Well, we are trying to find out what might be the cause of all this, since Takeru's silence is also affecting his schoolwork and of course his classmates."

"I see."

"Takeru's teacher gave him some sheets of paper yesterday, since the poor boy didn't want to join the other children. And after a while she noticed that your son were almost the only thing Takeru drew."

"Really?" She paused, wrinkling her forehead. "Is… that a bad thing?"

"I'm afraid it is, Mrs Yagami. In one of his pictures Tai is lying on the ground with a big spear through him, in a pile of blood."

There was a short silence.

"Oh my God…" was all that Mrs Yagami could say. It would later on bug her a lot that she'd picked such a cliché expression. "Are you sure it's Tai? Maybe it's just a… evil character from a movie or a story…?"

"I'm afraid we're positive. The dead boy has got both Tai's kind of hairstyle and goggles. In some pictures it even says 'Tai' above him."

"Oh my God…" By now Mrs Yagami was grabbing the phone so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

"I understand it's shocking to hear, but let's not jump to conclusions. Perhaps Takeru has misunderstood Tai a little and got… well, jealous."

Mrs Yagami frowned in confusion. "Jealous?"

"Well, we've also noticed Takeru drawing pictures of Tai and Yamato together -as a couple. Perhaps Takeru is jealous of their friendship."

"You think? Well I guess they spend a lot of time together, but…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"An other theory is that Yamato and your son actually _are _having a relationship. I realise this is very personal, but it's important if we want Takeru to get over this jealousy of the two of them and start talking again. It's just a theory, though."

Mrs Yagami hesitated. The thought had never even hit her before and it was a bit strange to even consider the possibility. "I… I don't think… well, at least he's never _said_ anything… I really don't know, Mrs Itou."

"That's all right. Like I said, it's just one of our theories. Takeru's silence can also come from the fact that he's misunderstood Yamato and Taichi's friendship. Maybe there's something he's seen that can be misjudged from a eight-year-old?"

"Yes, maybe so."

"Well, thanks so much for your time, Mrs Yagami. We all want this tragedy to end, and we're ready to help Takeru in any way we can." the teacher's voice promised.

Mrs Yagami smiled faintly; slightly irritated by the over-polite way this woman spoke. "That's very nice of you. And I'll speak to Tai about this, maybe there in fact _is _something unsettled between them that they just have to clear out themselves."

"Exactly. Well, even if this is a personal thing or if it's something more, let's hope he will trust someone enough to tell. Children carrying big secrets are often depressed or scared."

"I'll see what I can do, Mrs Itou."

"Thanks for your help. Oh, and don't worry about Takeru's mother –I talked to her just before I called you."

"Okay, thank you for telling me this."

"Anytime. Good bye."

_End flashback_

Mrs Yagami sighed as she dialled the Ishidas' phone number. The teacher's call had been in the middle of her cleaning, so she hadn't had the time to call her friend.

"Ishida's residence?"

"Hi Nancy. Listen, I got a call from Tai's form mistress an hour ago…"

**tbc**

**I know this story is probably too short for it's own good, and perhaps it's kinda lame... but I'm still pretty happy with it so far... maybe the next chapters will be longer **

**review please! thanks for reading my story :)**


	5. Distance

**Chapter 5**

**Distance**

"Hey TK!" Hikari greeted her friend with a big smile on her face. She got nothing back but silence. It didn't surprise her though; she had been the first one to notice TK's sudden quietness. She had also noticed that not only was her friend quiet, he was unhappy. Another child her age would've used the word 'sad', but Hikari was a smart girl. She knew that TK had something big inside that he couldn't, or simply didn't _want_ to share with anyone. And it was slowly eating him up. Even though she couldn't communicate with the boy (she weren't even sure if he actually _listened _to her) she was still going to help him in any way she could. If nothing else, then just being there. For what it was worth.

The two children walked towards school, none of them saying a word. Hikari spent every second of the walk thinking of how she could possibly help her friend. She knew that a lot of things were affected by his behaviour. His wouldn't work in school; he just drew weird pictures on sheets of paper that Mrs Suzuki kept on giving to him. He didn't want anyone around, and he never joined the others. Sometimes he even avoided Hikari to be alone. Of course this affected the way TK's classmates thought about him. Since he didn't talk, always sat alone and never smiled, the others just assumed that he had become mean. And weird.

TK's teacher was always around him, almost ignoring the other children. She watched him drawing his pictures over his shoulder, watched him from her desk during class, asked him questions to see if he'd answer, and studied his every move. Hikari didn't like it. She understood that the teacher wanted to help, but it was getting annoying. The way she always had her full attention towards TK made the other boys and girls dislike him even more.

The two friends entered the schoolyard, making their way towards the school- entrance, not stopping on their way to play with the other children before class. They walked through the hallway, and their footsteps were echoing. It was a beautiful day; perhaps the last one before autumn would start. The sun was shining and you didn't even have to wear your summer jacket since it was almost calm. Everyone was outside. Everyone except for the two digidestined. Hikari wanted to be around TK, and if that meant sitting indoors on such a perfect day then so be it. They sat down on a bench placed beside the door to their classroom. Hikari looked at her watch. She had got that watch along with a magazine she'd bought on the summer break. It was pink. Although she wasn't that fond of pink, she was still happy to get a new watch. Now she didn't have to walk around with Tai's old one –which was too big for her tiny wrist, and had a broken glass. She looked up at the wall again, listening to the faint noises from the others playing outside. Mrs Suzuki would soon be here. Just three or two minutes left. The brown-eyed girl sighed quietly, missing her friend's endless chattering about everything he could think of. She missed talking to him, laughing with him or just simply feeling that connection and understanding you feel with your best friend. For now, all of that was gone. Now they were just two kids who were sitting beside each other in an empty hallway, staring at the wall and listening to the echoing footsteps coming towards them. Through unknowing eyes, they could be two strangers never met before, missing that bond that two best friends share.

-'-

In Mr Yagami's office.

"Uh-huh… no, no it's fine. M-hm… sure thing. Yeah. Of course. Oh? Uh-huh… yepp. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it! Mm, hold on a sec," Mr Yagami pressed the phone against his shoulder, leaning out from his chair. "Boys!"

Taichi and his friend stopped laughing –merely- and looked his way. "Yeah dad?"

"Will you quiet down a little, I'm talking to my _boss _here!"

Tai shot him an apologising look, knowing that his dad's boss could be a real pain in the ass if you didn't behave correctly. "Sorry!"

Mr Yagami sat up straight, shaking his head. He put the phone to his ear again. "Sorry about that."

He became silent, starting to listen to the serious sounding voice. Soon he didn't even need to fill out with an occasional 'hm' or 'yes' every now and then; his boss was doing the talking just fine by himself. All that was left for Mr Yagami to do was listen. He glanced at the two boys in the kitchen, smirking at their typical teenage behaviour. Sometimes he really missed that. Being aloud to act all stupid without people looking strangely at him. Still it was just a phase in life that everyone grew out of sooner or later. It was probably just the fact that he didn't _have_ it anymore. Wanting something he couldn't get had always been a bad habit, even though that something wasn't always that great. But as long as it was out of his reach it always seemed so appealing.

"Uh-uh." He muttered into the phone, letting his mind drift away to when he was a teenager, his eyes still caught on his son. He knew Taichi would be a ladies-man, just like himself. The boy had his dad's charm, his mother's looks, and his own special personality that indeed seemed to impress the girls. The fact that Tai was (probably) popular made him proud, though it was a whole other thing with his young daughter Hikari, whom would most likely grow up to be a very beautiful young woman. And most likely the guys would chase after her, trying to win her heart. _That _he wasn't too fond of. But, he thought, that wouldn't be a problem for at least five years or so. No need to worry.

"Yes, I absolutely agree" he said to the boss, furring his eyebrows when he noticed his son tuck a strand of hair behind the blond boys ear very carefully.

His boss became silent. Mr Yagami shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Oh yes, I'm sorry. You were saying?"

* * *

"Mom, is it dinner yet?"

"Not yet, Kari. But I'd appreciated it you'd set the table."

"Sure" the girl said a little less enthusiastically.

"Thanks honey"

The brown-haired girl walked around the kitchen, fetching plates and forks and knifes, not saying a word.

"How was school today, Kari?"

"Oh. It was alright, I guess." The girl mumbled absently, looking out the window.

Her mom was quiet for a while. She could tell Kari was troubled without turning around to look at her. "You're concerned about TK, huh?"

The girl put the plates on the eating table. "Yes," she admitted. "Shouldn't I be?"

"Of course. But I don't want you to worry too much, that's all. He'll probably get over this."

"Yeah." Kari sighed to herself, slowly placing the forks and knifes out. They always talked to her like that. Like she didn't know anything. But she did. Sometimes she even saw things that others were too busy to notice. Or ignorant. Or whatever they were. Just like she had been noticing Tai acting strange lately. Though she didn't understand what it was, she had seen it. And she had thought about it a lot. Hikari glanced at her mother.

"Mom?"

"Yes Kari?"

"Do you think there's something weird going on between Tai and TK?"

Her mother turned around with a look that startled Kari a little. "W-why do you say that?" she whispered, staring at her.

"I don't know, I just… it's like whenever I talk about Tai, TK seems to… it's like he… I don't really know, but…"

"Kari, if there's anything you've seen you have to tell me."

Kari looked at her hesitatingly. By the way her mother was acting he knew this was important. "Well…. I saw this picture…"

-'-

"Hi Matt, dinner's ready in a few minutes, would you set the table?"

"Can't TK do it?" the blond teen replied, halfway out to go watch TV or something.

Yamato's mother turned around, giving him a warning look. "Leave TK alone. He's not eating anyway."

Matt turned around and stared at her. "What? Why not?"

"He wants to be alone, I'll give him some sandwiches later on."

"But mom you can't…"

"We aren't discussing this!" His mother turned around and continued the cooking. Yamato sighed, looking at her back that was turned against him.

"Mom…"

"Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I mean he's… like an other person."

"But that's not a reason to give up! You can't just let him act like this, I mean you can at least force him to eat! You're his _mom_, you can't give up on him like that! No one else can tell him what to do. He won't listen to me and dad doesn't care anyway…"

Mrs Ishida turned to face him. "Don't you say that! Of course he cares about TK"

"Yeah well, he's not helping anyway. I _try_ at least but TK just shuts me out."

Mrs Ishida sighed deeply, pained by the hurt looked that had crossed her son's face for a short moment. "Yamato…" she started, although she wasn't sure of what to say. Her gaze fell to the floor and she became silent, struggling with how she was supposed to make him feel better. It was much easier to comfort her youngest son, TK just needed someone who listened to him for a while and hugged him and let him cry. Yamato was different. First of all, he never let anyone know if there was something wrong. Perhaps Taichi, since they seemed to have really come to trust each other. But to his mother, he never said a word. Everything was always 'fine' or 'okay', he never came to her with problems or something like that. Second of all, Matt didn't _want _comfort. He absolutely refused to show weaknesses. He would never in his life cry in front of someone. So how was she supposed to comfort him if he constantly pushed her away?

Before Mrs Ishida could even think of anything to say, Matt's brief show of emotion was long-time gone and he had his careless mask back on.

"Fine. I'll set the table. You happy now?" he muttered, walking past her to open a cabinet, fetching glasses.

"Thanks." Mrs Ishida mumbled, her mind drifting. Her oldest son was crying inside and there was nothing she could do. Her youngest son didn't speak and might be carrying some big dark secret that was eating him with no one to help him. And there was nothing she could do. Her husband didn't seem to understand how serious everything was, and he didn't make an effort to help TK. And there was nothing Mrs Ishida could do.

So what do you do when there's nothing you can do to save the situation? If everything is just hopeless and you're just too impotent to make a difference. What do you do? Mrs Ishida did the only thing that seemed right at the moment.

She put all her strength into making a perfect dinner.

* * *

**Working on the next chapter right now, hopefully it won't take as long as it did for this one. Sorry for keeping you waiting.**

**Reviews?**


	6. Hurt

chapter 6

An eight-year-old boy with blond hair and blue eyes was walking home from school in a slow speed. His friend wasn't there to give him company since her mom had picked her up. They were going to the mall to buy new clothes for the class picture that was soon to be taken now that they'd started second grade. The boy however, didn't seem to mind that much. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice. Why?

Why should he? It's not that easy to notice things going on around you when you are constantly, every _second, _focusing on not screaming your head off.

Takeru turned left and almost got hit by a bicyclist coming from the other way. He hardly looked up when he yelled 'watch where you're going, kid' after him. Later on he turned right, and then left again. He didn't stop to look at the cute dog running around the garden not far from his house. He didn't wave back at the dog's owner. Takeru just walked, as if nothing else mattered. When he would come home, he would eat and then lock himself in his room. Maybe he'd skip eating and go straight to his room. In his room it was easier to keep calm. In his room he could draw his pictures. Pictures in bright colours. Like red.

Red for love, and red for death.

In his room he didn't have to constantly concentrate of _not _doing what he always felt the urge to do. Focus on things like not hitting anyone. Not breaking beautiful things. Not making happy people cry. Not crushing something innocent.

Takeru wasn't a violent boy. He didn't like hurting people. But right now, he wanted to find the most beautiful, special and delicate thing that was there to find and break it. Break it into thousands of pieces. And watch as people cried for the lost. He wanted to break Yamato's smile and his meaningful words and the look between the two of them. He wanted to kill that sparkle in his eyes and the blush he got on his cheeks from His hands. _His _hands, that never seemed able to keep away from Yamato. TK wanted to cut those hands off.

He wanted Yagami Taichi dead. Simple as that. And he wanted his big brother to cry and cry and cry and then die out of misery. He deserved to die too. Because TK would never forgive him. Ever.

--

"How was school today, Takeru?"

His mom. She sounded so sad. Like she had already given up. Yesterday she had sounded hopeful. TK looked at his food. He hopped off the chair and went out of the kitchen.

"TK? Where are you going?"

She looked after him as he went up the stairs. Sighing, she started to clear the table in plaintive acceptance.

--

Takeru froze on the last step. His gaze found the door to Yamato's room. It was closed. Inside there was someone talking. _Him. _Seconds after he heard Yamato laugh. Takeru narrowed his eyes. How come _He _always made Yamato laugh? Was He really that funny? Takeru didn't find Him that funny. He continued listening to the sound of his brother and _Him _having a conversation. They sounded so genuinely happy and contented with each other that it made him sick. Why did they have to talk so ardently and sociably? Like they totally agreed with absolutely _everything_ the other one said. Takeru remembered when they were the rather opposite to friends. When Yamato would occasionally come home after school with a black eye, cursing over the 'stupid jackass' that apparently was the one to blame. When Yamato disagreed with everything Taichi said –when they almost urged the other to fight. They were always on each other's backs; when Taichi wasn't pissing Yamato off, the blond found ways to insult or simply annoy the brunet. Taichi always had his loud, annoying and almost spontaneous way of driving his rival off the edge, while Yamato had his cold, quite intelligent and controlled style that both confused and therefor frustrated Taichi to no end.

Takeru missed those days.

His heart jumped when the door was opened. The sight of his big brother and the one who caused him nightmares greeted him. The two teenagers were unwarily standing to close for the eight year-old boy's liking. They stopped on their way out, both spotting Takeru gazing at them in horror. Yamato shifted his weight nervously, eyeing the boy carefully.

"Hey TK! 'Sup?" They briefly waited for an answer.

"We were just grabbing something to eat, wanna join us?"

Hearing _His _voice TK instantly ran to his room, slamming the door shut behind him and leaving the confused best friends staring at the closed door.


End file.
